PassingNotes.com

kidding! there’s no elgoog in this post, just thought the title would trick the clickers…and wow, haven’t written in a while, been busy with something else but thought it would be nice to do a quick roundup of some assorted tools that i’ve been dicking around with…generally speaking, most of what’s on the interweb either a) sucks, 2) has been done before or c) is crap (similar to sucking, being crap is also distinguished by a tendency toward browser compatibility issues)…enjoy…

myIPneighbors - got a site on a shared server and wondering why it’s soooo fucking slow all of the time when all you’re running is brochureware? hit this site and you may soon find a new person to send hate mail to!

call it fake - remember when i was talking a while ago about the stygian state of caller id spoofing? well say hello to the free pc-2-phone version…

fichey, whacked search thing.. - not sure what to say, but what the shit? is microfiche back!? have we all gone full circle on the interweb?

senduit - very cool, share files just like a buncha other services, but with very short expiration dates (as in, “dude, go download the song quickly, it expires in 30 minutes”)

50matches: search delicious, digg and reddit at the same time… a social bookmarking meta-search tool for the only sites that appear to matter anymore (sorry to those others who couldn’t keep it fresh, “yo, keep it real…worrrdddd”)

getgrandpasFBIfiles - concerned that you didn’t get that job because of your family history and not just because you suck at what you do? then consider following this dude’s cookbook approach to digging up family fbi files…

phone number geolocator - wondering where that call came from? hit this site, you’ll like it, trust me…

big list of best css design galleries - um, have you ever, uh, maybe, uh, ripped some other dude’s site design ’cause it was so cool? like sucked the whole thing down, pulled out the css in an editor and made it your own? this list will lead to you some awesome new site design ideas…got some favorites on this list, but there’s a lot to look over…

zniff, just iceland - yeah, here’s a nice search engine…might not matter much unless you are hjalli, and you launched this ages ago as a sister site to spurl…but i like it! just gotta find mo’ reason to use it…

and lastly: things you never knew existed - gotta keep my boys off this site, there is just too much cool shit for sale…what a way to waste a day or two…

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okay, so i just wanna put this out there for reactions and for you to noodle over…short: google and apple are in bed together for a reason. google will use safari on windows and mac to control ‘web as desktop/os’ (not mozilla)…read on…

first - we already know about the big apple/google relationships (schmidt on the board and all of that)…and here’s a very nice and clean visualization of that web of relationships for you to look over (apple/google)…

…but some lesser known and KEY relationships here? okay. first off there’s ann mather - she’s a director of google and the former evp/cfo of pixar and a former right hand gal to steve jobs…next up is jamie dinkelacker, a guy who was hired last fall as ‘program manager’ for the enterprise engineering efforts of elgoog, an agile software guru, and an all around super smart guy - why mention him? oh yeah, he was a former senior scientist at apple - also the dude behind the first calendaring app (netscape) and so on…

…oh, but i digress - the point (!) of all of this: in order to really succeed, google needs one standardized browser to enable and support all of their online and offline services, api’s, coming-stuff (offline synch etc) and given mozilla’s lack of interest in seeing another ‘fork’ emerge (yet again, please, no more flock) it will be a long while before google can control their directions (yeah, even with dibona running open source at elgoog, i find it hard to believe that he gets to set priorities, plus he openly admits that goog doesn’t like people to know what they’re doing, hence the interest in open source inside their walls and their ability to control shit - another mozilla fork would fuck it all up)..

shit, yeah, got distracted again - so yeah, if you roll up windows and mac, you’ve basically covered every consumer and business user in the mainstream world (sorry, ubuntu cronies, you just don’t count as mainstream) - so what’s a big company like google to do if they wish to control the browser experience, specify functions/calls and maintain absolute secrecy over any such plans? answer: partner with the other most secretive company out there, apple computer, and co-opt safari to put embedded solutions directly inside the browser (the one that handles java quite well mind you), and now runs across platforms…

…does that make sense? fuck ajax apps on the iphone, i am talking about all of the apps on the internet…so now, does that “ iGoogle offering’ make a little more sense to you? does it feel a little personal as well as a little appley? maybe it’s just me, but elgoog doesn’t need to buy apple, they just need to control and influence core partners across the board and push for one browser to rule them all…btw, if you can build that app for iphone, you can sure as shit get it to run on safari - wouldn’t this offer a nice channel for google into the mobile market without making a phone or any of that bullshit?

think about it: apple is the comeback kid with safari on windows, but they NEED the presence of google to expand the ‘mainstream’ user base, integrate with their own services (think ‘.mac 2.0′) and in turn ride the elgoog wave into the shore of the interweb-as-desktop while yahoo and others lay about, beached whales who either didn’t see this coming or just couldn’t shift adroitly enough to respond to the changes…

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Okay, the rumor starts here (my theory, duh)…Short version: elgoog (Google) is planning to launch the world’s largest social networking site ‘overnight’ and at the flick of a switch and will become the Mitsubishi of the internet.

Huh? Exactly. Let me explain…while yahoo and others continue to explore acquisitions in the social networking space (e.g. bebo et al), and the “buy-me-i’m-facebook” dance continues, stop and ask yourself a question: having already built or acquired every relevant component of a consumer and enterprise social networking solution, why has elgoog not postured in this space beyond orkut? alternatively: with billions of free working capital for acquisition, why has google ignored social networking site acquisitions beyond the super-niche (e.g. dodgeball, now dying on the vine)?

the answer: because elgoog is planning to launch the world’s largest social networking application within 12-18 months on its own. it will dwarf everything else out there and rattle the entire internet and new media landscape. facebook gets it, hence the “we’re now an OS” dream…but they’re far too small to matter. ‘some people in the world‘ use facebook right now - but ‘over 60 percent of people looking for anything online‘ use elgoog (compare those numbers)

…ever hear of mitsubishi? cars, electronics, all that shit? did you also know that they’re making and moving over one-third of the world’s fertilizer? (hey, this is going somewhere)…mitsubishi believes in a philosophy called “insiderization” - think of it this way: why make fertilizer and then sell it to others, or why simply trade the commodity and let others move and sell? why not just BE the maker, the market and the buyer and move inside, up and down the market? that’s what they’ve done over the years…fertilizer is a great example, just look at how they work with monsanto and others to control all angles in the channel..

…as for elgoog, well, they’ve already got every targeted service (messaging, voice, mail, video, pictures, payment, data storage, collaborative apps, et al)…and they’ve got a simple publishing platform in place (think ‘google pages 2.0′) - now all they need to is flick a very small switch: you log in and are presented with an option to ‘publish your google profile‘ and in doing so elect to include select apps/services and make all/some available to groups/user across the ‘google network’ - very simple for elgoog to execute.

…so while facebook dreams of some bullshit world where third parties clamor to build shitty little apps inside their cluttered networking space which reaches only a minority of global interweb users, elgoog is just going to “be the entire space” and throw networking into the mix to expound the details and nuances of services and features…there will be a consumer version and an enterprise version…

goodbye myspace, goodbye linkedin, facebook, bebo and all of the others (yahoo and wallop included for now)…you’ve all completely missed this dark horse running in the social networking universe - the interweb IS just a social networking infrastructure, and all elgoog is doing is building a simple utility to search and connect users with increasingly finer gradations (e.g. collaborative apps, calendaring and other ‘group/singleuser’ services) until one day - poof! - the dark horse emerges.

…oh, and btw, in my opinion the only (and i mean absolutely the only) player that can rattle and compete is microsoft - with the largest installed sw user base in the world, all they need to do is allow for the same profile publishing services as they already do for enterprise, roll it out to consumers at zero cost and integrate a world of online apps and services…

so yeah, that’s what was on my mind earlier this morning, just wanted to throw it out there because i have not found ANYBODY ELSE talking about it yet! what the shit? am i the only one who really sees it this way?

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…has the whole world of startups turned into a vanity contest? a cradle for investors low in self esteem? for real, just when i though the vc’s couldn’t throw money at anything more stupid (200+ photo and video sharing sites funded last year? duh), along comes the ultimate insult to the collective intelligence of internet users everywhere, a site that aims to take us all back in time to the late 90’s, when about.com helped ‘do the thinkin’ for us’ and told us what mattered, a new ass-kissing machine that brought up half of my chicken tikka masala lunch within 30 seconds of use: welcome to mahalo

what’s mahalo? haven’t you heard about this? this dude jason calcanis, formerly from the team at netscape that sorta copied digg, well he joined a vc firm as an “AWMIR” (’affluent white man in residence’) trying to figure out what to do with his time and somebody else’s money and along comes a new “human powered search engine” led by 40 guides who have managed to focus on “what’s important to internet users” by visiting (gasp!) the search engines themselves…

what do you get at mahalo? uh, how about shit with large fonts? seriously, these “guides” if you will, for it’s a formidable task to unearth the biographies of all, they are much smarter than you - they know, for example, that people looking for information on iphones need a new site, a new way to quickly find links to apple.com, wikipedia.com, some competitors (pick a phone manufacturer, any manufacturer) and that these same people want it all on one page. fucking briliant. geniuses. how did i ever live without you? how do you do it over there at mahalo? who can figure out such devices?

…the real magic is how they figure out what’s important, and then waste time building shitty little one page summaries of this crap…why use it? because they have very, very carefully figured out within a seven day period of furious editing that apparently “internet users” really want to know about every A-list blogger who might conceivably write about or otherwise promote “mahalo goodness”

don’t believe me? here, check out this page for one of the main guides and mahalo’s editorial director who goes by the name “CK” on mahalo - now scroll down through his list of major edits between may 21st and may 29th (yes, last week)…notice anything unusual about that list? are those all things that you’ve searched for yourself? here’s a hint: go click through on each of those over-inflated pages describing each major blogger, then visit the blog and look for a positive note on mahalo…do you smell an incentive structure here? for example, arrington at techcrunch couldn’t help but write gushing words about the launch, and oddly he’s what everybody on the internet is looking for these days!

…sorry dudes, but as somebody who actually has to get real research done on the interwebs, i can only tell you that:

a) sequioa capital apparently does make some stupid fucking investments…(did i mention mahalo’s plans for actually separating people from money? exactly…)

a1)..as do elon musk and news corp (other investors) - what are you thinking elon? did you lose a bet or something?

b) nobody is gonna want this product, period. you are breaking a cardinal rule here: trying to create a solution (which sucks) and then trying to manufacture a problem through a poorly executed perception exercise (as in, “oh, thanks, i didn’t realize that google, yahoo, msn, wikipedia and those others didn’t work! thanks! really!)

c) the race to beat jimmy wales to the finish line with an alternative entrant in the “human powered search engine” was in fact over long ago, back when about.com got tired…nobody’s gonna want what wales is selling either, but yet, it’s your money…

d) something else, i forget (but it was important!)

hmmm, so yeah, my impression of this site is that even if they get past the amazing 10 thousand pages of information goal in 2007 (could you imagine that? over 10 thousand pages of information on the internet all just at one site? wow!), they will never be able to recruit a series of guides capable of delivering superior quality information aggregation in a uniform fashion (and it must be superior) who are also interested in doing the whole about.com thing all over again (or should i say dmoz.org?) to help some other white dudes make more money by creating a bullshit solution to a bullshit category in a one-size-fits-all craposphere of lookalike startups championed by the same golf players from the same zip code…

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oh, so now here’s a great piece right in time for summer - particularly for those men who insist on wearing greek-style bathing suits at american beaches…apparently women care more about your face than your body….this is from a recent new scientist bit: the face, not the body, attracts a mate

…of course this totally conflicts with some other research data in which i read that women are looking at neither face nor body, but rather behavior…but whatever, i’m probably fucked in all directions, but i think i’m gonna work out less hard and go back to heavy candy…and in yet another study, women who are riding the cotton pony also behave quite differently: “what an ovulating girls wants”

..as for you all you single male geeks out there wiping tears of relief from your eyes, do be careful not to get any cheeto dust in there - it stings!

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