here’s some strange research to assist with the selection of your next alias (or assumed name for whatever purposes)…it turns out that whether people find you ‘hot or not’ might depend on vowel placement within your name….mit researcher amy perfors did a study “examining how your name affects how attractive you are perceived”…specifically, she looked at ‘front and back vowels’ - per amy: “Linguists classify vowels according to where in the mouth they are pronounced or articulated. Front vowels are like the i in bit, the a sound in bait or bat, and the e sound in bet. Back vowels are pronounced in the back of the mouth, and include the o sound in food or hot, as well as the u sound in put”…this was just a preliminary study, states amy, who used the public site “Hot or Not” to post photos of about 2 dozen friends with assorted fake names (that site is a great way to kill time btw…apparently at mit grad programs as well)…

you can read the entire study summary at amy’s site (pdf is there too), and you can even read the snappy little summaries from the many publications that picked it up (cnn, new scientist, passingnotes…oh sorry, that’s me)…but for those of you who struggle with reading at length, or generally find multi syllabic terms to be both visually and mentally overwhelming, here’s the skinny:

key finding:There is an opposite effect for men and women. Men whose names’ stressed vowel is a front vowel were rated statistically MORE attractive than men with names with a stressed back vowel. However, the reverse was true for women: women with names with stressed BACK vowels were statistically more attractive.”

…but oh, the most intriguing part for selection of your next alias: her specific study name examples…these are organized as good/bad for men and good/bad for women as follows:

Good for men (front): Dave, Craig, Ben, Jake, Rick, Steve, Matt

Bad for men (back): Lou, Paul, Luke, Tom, Charles, George, John

Good for women (back): Laura, Julie, Robin, Susan

Bad for women (front): Melanie, Jamie, Jess, Jill, Amy, Tracy, Ann, Liz

…summary: i’m gonna stick with dave…and great news for my little dog emma!

Some similar nonsense, if you like that kind of thing: